Discover Your Physical Self
Many of us have left our bodies due to
feelings of overwhelm, stress or unresolved trauma that leave us feeling
insecure about our bodies. Either we are ashamed of our bodies and avoid them
at all costs, or we have a complex relationship with them and place too much
importance on appearance. Stress and other emotional experiences can be endured
if we take good care of our physical needs. Some of your physical needs are
probably still unmet if you have been away from your body for a long time.
Learning to recognize and address these needs can help you create a safe “home
base” to retreat to after a troubling event. A churning feeling in your stomach
can indicate hunger, and sore muscles can indicate fatigue. Our bodies have
been conditioned in the same way as our minds. Our bodies function largely
automatically: eating, moving, resting and sleeping on a schedule that we
hardly have to think about.
Fortunately, our
breathing, digestion, metabolism, hormonal balance and many other vital
functions are controlled by unconscious processes. We learn self-care behaviors
from a young age and eventually internalize them into our bodies and minds.
Maybe we have always seen how our parents' figures look, how they eat, talk
about them and how they take care of their bodies, and how they really take
care of our own bodies. Those of us who have experienced body criticism from a
parent may have feelings of shame or low self-esteem. Those who grew up with a
parent who was constantly dieting or starving may adopt similar behaviors
because they think their smaller size makes them more worth of acceptance and
love. Media messages that traditionally portray thin bodies as more attractive
or desirable than other body types may serve to further reinforce these
messages. The lessons we've been given about our bodies haven't always been so
subtle.
Because of the messages we hear as teenagers, we develop the ideas: “My body is
not good enough,” “My body is not lovable,” or “Other bodies deserve more love
and acceptance.” “I have to look like them so that my body is worthy of love
and acceptance.” In addition to comments about people's body sizes, it is
important to recognize different forms of body shaming. Many of us haven't seen
a lot of representation of different skin tones or ethnicities in movies, TV
shows, other social media, etc. This sends the subliminal message that there is
a certain version of who is acceptable, attractive or desirable in our society
to us through this severe lack of representation. Fortunately, these attitudes
are beginning to change as more diverse bodies are portrayed in the media.
While there is still much work to be done, this is an extremely important step
in helping marginalized people reach a deeper level of body acceptance. Our
bodies do not define whether we are lovable or unlovable, no matter what the
media and our families would have us believe.
Regardless of the
messages we have internalized, we are all different beings with a variety of
body types, all of which are valuable and beautiful. Body beliefs are the
messages we have internalized as a result of this conditioning. Even though
most of our body beliefs are unconscious - meaning we don't even realize we
have them - they still have an impact on our behavior, how we think about our
bodies, and how valuable we feel.
